Clone of Mine
by The Hollow Inside Me
Summary: An indecent between Allen, Lavi and Komui leaves Allen with a clone...who doesn't speak English and seems to like Kanda more than he should. NO YAOI.


Allen hummed happily to himself as he ambled down the halls of the Black Order. It was one of his favorite times of day, with good reason, too. Right now, he was heading down to the dining hall to participate in said favorite time: dinner. As a parasite type exorcist, Allen got hungry often and loved eating, so it made sense that he was excited to go and eat dinner.

When Allen arrived in the dining hall, he waited behind a few others until he got to order his food from Jerry. Jerry loved cooking for the white-haired exorcist, because he always ordered so much food, and everyone was aware of that. After Allen had ordered his usual amount of food, he waited a little while Jerry cooked it for him. When Allen's food was cooked and steaming, he lifted it up and went to sit at a table with Lavi.

Lavi was the red-headed exorcist, who was currently dating Lenalee. He was also Bookman's apprentice, who didn't exactly approve of his being with Lenalee (which Lavi couldn't really care less about at that point). Allen and Lavi had gotten along fairly well from the start, and the white-haired boy liked to think of Lavi as an older brother.

"Hey, Lavi," Allen casually greeted as he sat down next to Lavi with his mountain of food sitting in front of him.

"Hey, Allen," Lavi replied, grinning at the younger boy. "How are you?"

"Great," Allen said around a mouthful of food. "And you?"

"Eh," Lavi grunted, shrugging. "Komui has been chasing me down all day. He found out this morning about Lenalee and me."

"He didn't know before?" Allen asked, almost choking on the food in his mouth out of shock. "Bet he wasn't too happy about that."

"He wasn't," Lavi sighed, shaking his head. "I'm worried about what he's going to try next."

"Just keep an eye open," Allen advised, patting his friend's shoulder as Lavi nodded.

They ate the rest of their meal in relative silence, Allen focused on his food and Lavi worrying about Komui. Allen had just finished his food and was preparing to leave when a loud crash was heard from the entryway of the dining hall. All heads turned to look for the source of the noise, but everything was explained when they saw Komui in the doorway, looking like he was out for blood.

"Take this, molester!" Komui yelled, throwing a bottle filled with an orange substance in Lavi's direction.

Lavi quickly ducked under the table when he saw the bottle flying through the air, and poor Allen was too slow to get out of the way in time. The bottle landed on Allen's chest, his white shirt now covered in the sticky, sweet-smiling orange liquid. He frowned in disgust, wondering what the weird substance was.

A scream was heard from Komui, as he clasped his hands over his mouth and ran out of the dining hall after realizing that he missed Lavi. After Komui left, everyone turned to look at Allen who was now trying to clean off his shirt with a napkin. Sighing loudly, Allen left the room, waving a goodbye as he walked out. "I'll be back later, Lavi," he said in a tired voice.

Huffing quietly in irritation, the short boy headed to the showers so he could clean himself of the thick substance covering his chest. Once he arrived, he stripped and stepped into the shower, taking his shirt with him to clean it.

As Allen was washing, the shirt already having been cleaned, he noticed that the area around his bellybutton was staying orange, much in contradiction with the rest of his body. Shrugging it off, he wrapped a towel around his waist and headed back to his personal quarters. He dried off once he was there, and pulled on a pair of boxers. He slid into his bed comfortably, and it was only moments before he drifted off to sleep.

/

When Allen woke in the morning he was unusually warm. The small boy smiled sleepily and snuggled closer to a warm presence next to him. _Wait, huh?_ He thought. His eyes snapped open and he glanced at a body lying next to him, noticing that the other body looked just like his. Allen also noticed a thin string-like substance connecting his bellybutton to the bellybutton of this 'second Allen.'

The first Allen reached and felt the Allen clone, making sure he was actually there and not a figment of his imagination. The second Allen twitched slightly at the feel of someone touching him. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the boy in front of him.

"Gaweekla!" The second Allen shouted in happiness, jumping on top of the original Allen and nuzzling against his cheek. "Gaweekla, gaweekla!"

Allen pushed the clone off of him and ripped the small thread linking them together apart. "What are you saying?" He said, trying not to yell.

"Gaweekla?" The other Allen asked, tilting his head in slight confusion. "Tomofdeno?"

The first Allen sighed loudly, giving up all hope of communicating with his clone. At this time Allen realized that the other _him_ was completely naked. Blushing slightly, even though it was technically his own body, he went to his dresser and grabbed a pair of boxers for him. He dropped the boxers in his clone's lap and waited for him to put them on.

"Put them on." The first Allen said, pointing to the boxers. "Put. Boxers. On," he enunciated each word carefully, so the strange embodiment might understand.

The clone looked at the piece of fabric in his lap, pursing his lips in confusion. "Ne offlindie wikenda kometoni?" It asked, looking up hopefully at Allen.

"Sure," Allen sighed, hoping that his message had gone across.

Grinning widely, the clone picked up the boxers and started chewing them.

"No, no, no!" Allen yelled, taking the boxers from the clone and shaking his head. He forced his clone to stand up before helping it slide the boxers up to its waist.

The other Allen looked startled, confused, and a little sad. Sniffling quietly, the other Allen burst into tears. The first Allen jumped, unsure of what to do with his clone. Since it was _his_ clone after all, he figured it must be hungry. So Allen quickly got dressed and went to the dining hall, closing the door behind him and leaving his clone in the room.

The Allen clone was fascinated with the door. Once it got a steady grip on the knob he had seen Allen pull, he gave it a tug, frowning when nothing happened. He pulled at the knob again, growling when the same thing happened. Angrily, the clone hit the door with enough force to break it down. Smiling stupidly to himself, he stepped over the broken door and began walking in the way opposite of the real Allen.

The Allen clone had no idea where he was going, but he was curious as to what was behind all the other doors. After he had been walking for a while, he came to a stop when he saw a door he was interested in. Not knowing of any other way into a room, he knocked down the door.

He noticed that the room was very dark when he first walked in. This unnerved him because in Allen's room there had been a window. Walking further into the unknown space, the clone noticed a bed, bearing a figure. Curious, he crawled onto it, looking down at the lumpy matter.

The clone noticed that this thing did not look like Allen, and that confused him. This figure had much, much longer hair than Allen. The hair was also darker. Curious and intrigued, the clone Allen sat on top of this new thing, wondering if it was going to move like Allen had.

Sure enough, when the black-haired male felt a pressure on his chest, his eyes shot wide open, ready to face a threat. When he saw the white-haired clone on his chest, he couldn't bite back his gasp of shock.

"Moyashi?" Kanda asked, alarmed at the site of the boy on top of him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Wee snoof noggleou." The clone said cheerfully, smiling.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kanda yelled as he thrashed around, trying to free himself of the clone. "And why the hell are you half-naked?"

"Komantu." The second Allen said happily, nuzzling against Kanda as he had done to the original Allen before. "Nebakendo!"

"Ne…bakendo?" Kanda muttered quietly in confusion, wondering if it was some language he was unfamiliar with.

The clone's eyes widened, as he heard Kanda repeat what he had said. "Nebakendo Komantu!" He said, hugging Kanda even tighter against him.

Kanda, yelled loudly, rolling off of his bed in surprise at the strong grip. "Get off of me, dammit!"

The clone didn't listen, too engaged in snuggling against Kanda to listen to him. "Nebakendo, nebakendo," He chanted happily, tightening his grip on the black-haired exorcist with every word.

"I'll force feed you your own fingers if you don't get the hell off of me!" Kanda yelled, pushing at the clone.

Confused by the sharp tone of Kanda's voice, the clone let go of Kanda and stood up. The clone sat down on the bed, tilting his head to the side. "Komantu?" He asked.

"Shut up, baka," Kanda ordered. "What's wrong with you?"

The clone's eyes watered as he realized that Kanda wasn't happy with him. "Ko-ko-komatu," he pleaded sniffling. "Nebakendo."

"Maybe Komui knows what's going on," Kanda mused quietly, dismissing the clone entirely. Kanda sighed loudly, grabbing Mugen and heading to the science division, dragging the second Allen behind him.

As Kanda was walking towards the science division, he heard a loud voice call his name. Spinning around, he saw Allen running toward him.

"You found him," Allen gasped when he reached Kanda, panting loudly. "I was so worried about him; I forgot his food."

"_Him?_" Kanda asked, raising an eyebrow. "You mean this _thing?_" He asked, tapping the clone with his foot, whose eyes were alight as he saw Allen.

"Gaweekla!" He shouted, scrambling out of Kanda's grip and clutching Allen's arm tightly.

Allen ignored the other him on his arm and faced Kanda. "Where did you find him?"

"In my room; on top of me," Kanda answered sharply, narrowing his eyes. "What is that thing anyways?"

"No idea," Allen said shaking his head. "I just found him in my bed with me this morning. I was going to ask Komui about what happened later."

"Good luck," Kanda snorted, turning to walk away.

"Srant, komantu. Cokeybanu," the clone said smiling and gripping Kanda again.

"Guess you're coming with us," Allen said, grinning sheepishly.

"Shut it, Moyashi," Kanda growled, trying to push the clone off of him and failing. "Okay, let's just finish this."

Soon, the group had made their way to the science division. They headed for Komui's desk, seeing the dark-haired man sipping at a cup of coffee while he yelled loudly at a certain red-head.

"Lavi!" Allen called, seeing his friend.

"Hey Allen, Yuu…what is that?" Lavi asked, pointing at the clone attached to Kanda.

"That's what we want to know," Kanda grunted, glaring at Komui.

"Belingda!" The clone yelled, pointing at Komui and tugging on Allen's arm.  
"Gaweekla, Belingda!"

"I know that language…" Lavi muttered quietly, his eyes widening in shock.

"You can understand him?" Allen asked, his eyes widening and his mouth forming a smile.

"Yeah, it's a simple combination of six languages," Lavi said grinning widely. "Spanish, Greek, Thai…"

"But you can understand him?" Kanda interrupted, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Completely," Lavi said. Turning to the clone he spoke again. "Wee snoof noggleou. Kenbak rendo tog metin."

The clone's eyes grew wide and he nodded excitedly. "Wachende hek no myeno."

"See?" Lavi asked, turning to Kanda. "We can communicate with each other."

"Who does he think we are?" Allen asked, turning to Lavi.

"Pedensa fugerundo…wer huhiseous?" Lavi asked, pausing sometimes as he tried to remember the words.

"Gaweekla saw Belingda," The clone said pointing to Allen and Komui before turning to look at Kanda. "Komantu. Nebakendo komantu."

Lavi snickered silently, smirking at the clone's words. "Allen, he believes that you are his mother, and Komui is his father."

"Then what does that make me?" Kanda asked, confused.

Lavi burst out laughing, wrapping his arms around his stomach as he doubled over. "He-he thinks you're his lover!" Lavi shouted around laughter.

"His…lover?" Kanda said, trying to process what he had just heard. "Komui," he said. "Did you create this thing?"

"Technically speaking, yes," Komui said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Then find a way to get rid of him before his blood is your new wallpaper," Kanda said in a deadly calm voice.

"Of course," Komui said quickly, looking down at some papers on his desk. "According to the original potion, the reverse should just be…water."

"Water?" Allen asked raising an eyebrow. "That's all it takes?"

"Well, to complete the growth process, water was needed to construct the biological make-up of the body. But due to the excessive amount of adhesium-chloride that I used in this specific mixture, the effects should also be undone by water and he will return to his original state," Komui explained.

"Anyone got some water?" Kanda yelled, hoping to be rid of this annoying clone as soon as possible.

"I've got some," Reever yelled from his desk, shaking his water bottle in the air.

Lavi jogged over to Reever, grabbing the water bottle from him and nodding his head in thanks before jogging back over to the clone.

"You do it," Lavi said, handing the bottle to Kanda. "He does love you after all. That's what _nebakendo_ means."

"Che. I don't even care," Kanda said, snatching the water bottle out of Lavi's grasp and opening the top. "Does it have to drink it?"

"You can just pour it on him." Komui said, waving his hand dismissively

Kanda moved the bottle over top of the clone's head, not staring into the warm but confused eyes looking up at him.

When the water touched the top of his head, the clone started choking. He couldn't breathe anymore. His hands flew to his throat in a desperate attempt to save himself. The clone tried to scream, but he couldn't make any noise.

Falling to the floor, he started gripping at Kanda's legs, for some sense of security. One of his pale hands, wrapped around Kanda's ankle as he tried to push himself back up. His eyes slowly rolled back into his head as his body started becoming more and more gas-like. Soon his corpse was nothing more than a large mass of floating gas that hovered around Kanda.

"Why isn't it going away?" Kanda asked, confused.

"Just wait for a second," Komui said. "It should go back to its original state soon."

Before anyone had time to move, the gas gathered itself around Kanda's midsection, before it slowly seeped into Kanda's stomach, fading away into the dark-haired exorcist.

"What just happened?" Allen asked confused as he stared at Kanda.

Hearing Allen's voice, Kanda turned to look at him, a grin plastering itself onto his face. "Gaweekla- aw, shit."

** Okay, my friend and I came up with this idea when we were walking about one day and I decided that since my internet went down, I would write it. Sorry if the grammar is off, I wrote this really late at night and when my other friend looked over it, she said that she was laughing too much to do any proper editing. This is a very weird fanfic, I understand but I only made it for chuckles, so oh well. Hope you enjoyed it. :) **


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